Grant: No, that was another band.
Ron: I'm going to fuck everybody
up and mix up quotes.
Greg: Just remember that I'm the
guy that said, "you have
nothing to fear but fear
itself."
Ron: I've heard that before; you
must be pretty famous.
Greg: What kind of sport are those
for?
Ron: The boots? They're riding
boots. I tried to get tham
without the spikes.
Grant: It's the jacket I'm admiring.
Ron: I painted it myself. I just
did it the other night.
Grant: I meant before you messed it
up. So how long have you
studied finger painting?
Dianne:Why is the door open? It's
freezing.
Grant: We're from Minnesota; it makes
us feel at home.
Dianne:Are you guys into hockey? There
is always ice up there.
Greg: When I get up in the morning
I have to make sure that
there's no ice in the toilet.
Grant: You know what's really bad?
If you lick the pump
handle, your tounge gets
stuck and you have totear
all the skin off your tongue
to extricate yourself.
Greg: It's really hard to take a
piss outside when it's
thirty below.
Grant: You know what happens? Now
this only happens to guys, but
when you pee, you get this
very long icicle.
J.C.: Except for Grant's.
Grant: Yeah, mine's real little.
Actually, I get two streams
because when I was a young
child I shoved a clothespin
in my penis.
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Dianne:And they never took it out?
J.C.: Now he hangs his clothes in
there.
Dianne:These are really good stories!
Grant: Do you remember the original
Bozo the clown?
Ron: Yeah, he's running for
President.
Greg: I thought he won.
Grant: But the original Bozo, the
dead Bozo. I saw it on t.v..
He jumped off a platform with
a lit book of matches into a
full tank of gasoline and
committed suicide.
Ron: Now you definately just made
that up. There was a picture
of him in the paper announcing
his candidacy saying, "Let's
get a real Bozo in the White-
house."
Grant: Yeah, a vote for Bozo is a
vote for Reagan; I definately
wouldn't support Bozo because
Walter Mondale lives next to
my parents. The other day I
was driving down I-94 and we
encountered the Mondale
motorcade.
Greg: We followed the Mondale
motorcade all the way from
Minneapolis to St. Paul.
Ron: In your Husker-Vana?
Grant: Like a chainsaw? I get it.
Ron: That was the pun of my life.
I'm glad somebody got it.
(Husqvarna is a Swedish
chainsaw and motorcycle manufac-
turer) I thought it was pretty
witty. Besides, when will I ever
get the opportunity to use that
pun again?
Greg: I don't know. Probably in about
five minutes.
Dianne:We're gonna walk outside and
he's going to say that again.
Grant: You know why it's easy to
catch elephants in Alabama?
Cause the Tuskaloosa.
Ron: We know so many bad pun jokes.
Dianne:What do you call a fat person
who starts fires?---Arson Wells.
Grant: That's enough.
Dianne:What do you call a black
woman who urinates while she
sings?
Grant: Mom.
Dianne:No, but I can't top that
punch line. That's the new
punch line for that joke.
Grant: What do you get when you
cross red wine with sliced
prunes? Madra, Madria,
diarrhea.
Dianne:You're just pushing these
jokes too far.
Grant: I'd just like to stop a
lot of rumours that've been
going around about me and
Ethel Kennedy.
Dianne:My mom mentioned that to me
and I didn't believe it.
Ron: I got into an argument with
a guy in a bar about it and
I said that Ethel would
never do a thing like that.
Grant: Greg got his dick shot off
in Nam and now he pees in a
bag.
Greg: Wanna see it?
Dianne:No, that's OK.
Voice from the bar: HEY GET OUT OF
HERE. WE WANNA GO HOME!
Grant: guess we better go.
( Walking out to the parking lot)
Ron: Hey, that's my car you just
slammed into with your
Husker-Vana door!
Greg: What did I say? He said it
again, and he's still got the
tape running too.
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Dianne:He's so proud of that joke.
Greg: Let me ask him a question.
What's your favorite color?
Ron: Do you guys know how to get
out of here? We don't
Greg: Wonderful interview. We'll
have to do it again sometime.
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